it IS what you hear

Saturday note:

It IS what you hear. I'm not trying to beat a dead horse or plug someone's book, but this simple concept, one we all forget, truly is a lesson to be held close each day. We see examples of how language "works" in our daily public lives . Just consider the raucous behavior and emotional manipulation connected with such publicly debated topics as Health Care Reform; sending more troops to (or, the withdrawal of all troops from) Afghanistan; or the effect that cap and trade legislation will have on farming or our everyday lives. Language works in our lives: it gets things done; it produces results; it exerts an influence.

Whether it is my awkward attempt to talk to my 13 year old daughter about boys or acne or ?; or your time with a counterman at the dealership; or, your conversation with your spouse, remember this simple fact: it's not what you say it's what they hear.

Put yourself in their shoes. Seek first to understand. Stop and think. Be civil, respectful, and honest. Be open. Use language designed to build conversations and relationships.

Or, put this advice into your own words and add your own "rule".

What do you want your customers to hear? Given who they are, however, how do they hear, and translate, the words that you say?

Try this exercise in a "safe environment" (say with your "bride"). Ask your listener to "play back" to you what they heard. Were you understood? What affect did your words have?

Finding words that work, however, isn't the entire story. Listening, asking for clarificaton, seeking to understand: these are additional, critical elements of conversation. Conversation is what we want between ourselves and those who matter in our daily lives, as well as between ourselves and our customers.

For those of us deeply concerned about the customer experience, loyalty and customer relationship management, distracted by the pressures of business or life, we often can overlook how language shapes our results and the relationships we have with our listeners, our customers, friends, family.

If you want to analyze the underlying issues, go ahead. It could be the result of the Fall of the Tower of Babel or the speed of change in our world or careless use of "the Mother tongue". Let me know what you think. Thanks.